By Serge Kreutz

A gourmet is a person who knows how to derive pleasure from food.

I am a gourmet.

Like any gourmet, I long faced the problem that indulging in the pleasures of food and drink tends to cause weight gain.

It’s really quite stupid to be fat.

Anyway, you can easily avoid it.

Because the pleasures of food are almost exclusively in the mouth.

Some things that taste great have a detrimental effect on the brain: wine and cognac, for example.

Some fats in great tasting food can cause heartburn.

Some cheeses that taste like heaven are followed by migraine as hell.

After enjoying great tasting roasts made with garlic, you just stink.

From many excellent Indian curries, many people get diarrhea.

Chocolate in substantial quantity causes constipation.

Fall for spicy chili con carne, and be annoyed by a burning sensation around your anus upon discharge.

I could go on and on. So many food items have a negative impact. And all of them have the power to make you fat.

But all these problems are solved in the most elegant fashion if a gourmet follows the Serge Kreutz diet advice.

Because practically all foods that have a negative impact do so only if you swallow them.

And the gourmet pleasure really only is in the mouth.

Yes, I know, gut geschissen ist besser als schlecht gefickt. But that’s beside the gourmet point.

The Serge Kreutz gourmet diet is based on a simple but convincing idea: spit it, don’t shit it.